Thursday, 5 September 2013

'The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones' film Review.

'The  Mortal Instruments: City of Bones'

Director- Harald Zwait
Starring- Lily Collins
Jamie  Campbell Bower
Robert Sheehan
Jonathan Rhys Meyers
Aren't we cute? We're cute right? We're not cute....

During my trip to America I decided I would catch a few  films.One of the films I saw was this. I can't say much  more about this. Here we go.

Clary is turning eighteen, she is just your average, rum of the mill teen who hangs  out with her best friend who, guess what, secretly loves her. Her mother is overprotective and she just wants to be left alone,to grow as a woman. She witnesses  a murder in a nightclub, she freaks out, runs away and hides until the next  day and is mysteriously  approached by a mysterious figure,known only as Jace, Clary learns she is not a mundane. Which is never explained but I imagine it is a blanket term for muggles, I mean humans. She learns she is in great danger and so begins an epic quest her mom and  find her place in the world.

Jonathan Rhys Meyers, the guy has some moves. He stands heads and shoulders above the rest of the cast cast. He commands the room when he enters, every  line is delivered with passion and anger and rage. You can feel the edge to his character Valentine, I know. That is it.

Look at my sword, it's cool right?
This film has so much wrong with it. From the miscasting of the majority of the leads to the terrible script and the bargain bin supernatural special effects. Lena Headey is completely under used as is Jonathan Rhys Meyers,  who  is  given the sum total of seven minutes screen time. He  is the main antagonist, the big bad and he is  given seven , I kid  you  not, minutes of screen time. His  henchman are given far more time and they  are two dimensional nobodies. The love square is so forced, I mean it is insanely awkward, oh yeah and when I  mean a love square I am not getting confused between shapes. There is  a four way love conflict, and it  is the most frustrating element I have ever  seen in a film.

The film is shit don't go see it.
Rating: 2/10

I  just couldn't write about it anymore.

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