Speakin' Geek

The Double Feature.

'G.I Joe Retaliation'

vs

'Trance'

A couple of days ago I had the idea that I would try  and watch two films and then pit them against each other. The films I chose were, 'G.I Joe Retaliation' and 'Trance'. Two  very different films, yet one is being cited as a huge crowd pleaser and the second, a dark horse, an unsure bet. I wanted to see what it would  be like to review two films, compare them on their  merits and then decide for myself which was the better. I know what you're thinking, "really, these two, there is no competition". That  is the point regardless of my opinion and in the end, my choice I want to give you guys a proper insight, free of spoilers, into these two films, giving you the knowledge to make a well informed decision, and as G.I Joe will tell you,"Knowing is half the battle". 

'G.I Joe Retaliation'.

Directed by: John M.Chu

Starring: Dwayne Johnson

Ray  Park 

Bruce Willis

I  am choosing this image for the  simple reason, it  is the best thing in my review.

Right so, 'G.I Joe', an interesting idea. A bunch of plot shielded "soldiers" who take on a fictional terrorist organization code named 'Cobra'. Its conception was formed through 'Hasbro', the toy company. That's right, the same company behind 'Transformers'. You are probably wondering why I am talking about a toy company in a film review and you would be right to wonder, the reason? This is not a film, this  is another excuse  to tell the world how awesome an "American" army is. I can't remember why I went to the first one but  I did, so to keep in continuity with that I decided I would go to the second film.

He's not Joseph Gordon Levitt anymore, one of the best decision Joseph ever made.

Plot

To explain the plot  I will  have to  spoil the first one a little bit, so if you  want to be surprised avoid reading this next bit. The president of  the United States is a 'Cobra' agent. There, done, the most complex point in the film and it was set up in a previous film. The plot follows the "Joe's", some time after the events of  the previous  film. 'Duke'(Chaning Tatum) is now  in charge of the team and he, 'Snake Eyes', played by  the fantastically deadly Ray  Park and 'Roadblock' played by Dwayne Johnson. Quickly the Joes world is turned topsy turvy when they are attacked mercilessly by an unknown force while simultaneously being condemned by  their  government. Thus begins a series of ridiculous events.

These characters have the most interesting journey and it takes  a backseat to , well you'll see.

Good

Ray Park,Ray Park, Ray Park. Best actor  in this entire  film and best thing as well. He has the best lines in the film,  has the best scenes and he does all his  own stunts.His interaction with every other character is absolutely fantastic. Not every scene is his however, Byung-Hun Lee who  plays 'Storm Shadow' has an excellent introduction and then there is Adrianne Palicki and her red dress, superb.

Bad

Well, here we are but you knew that we  would get here and that we would be here for awhile, so lets dive in. The sickeningly sweet interaction between Duke and Roadblock is so  

bad that you know what is coming for one of these characters as the movie trundles along.  The dialogue is terrible and will have you laughing, not in the good way, while the acting can be ridiculously over the top and nothing ever  really feels genuine. I will give you one tip that I learned from this movie and that is when your army is decimated and your on the run from government, head to "the hood" because they will always help. This alternate world has really been messed, first off France lost the eiffel tower and in this movie Europe lost England. Seriously, it happens and then fifteen minutes later when the film ends it seems to be completely  forgotten about. Between a very weird,extended cameo from Bruce Willis to a villain slo-mo walk away that takes up the final ten minutes of  the  film. I am not kidding, clock the walk away, all he is doing is slowly walking away from the action to a helicopter, that has a huge design flaw.

There is nothing to  say.

Ugly

Let me start with saying, bad films can be fun, the evidence is there in film like 'Evil Dead 2' and 'Black Dynamite'. Films that know that their plots are outlandish and their characters ridiculous but  because they  don't take themselves seriously they hit on a wonderful chord that moviegoers adore.This is not one of those films.

3/10

England and France are so messed up now.